


Saeyoung Week 2018

by Moonfireflight



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Cats, Depression, F/M, First Date, Fluff, More Fluff, Nightmares, PTSD, SO MUCH FLUFF, Vague descriptions of violence, saeyoung week, saeyoungweek, tumblr event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 06:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15334056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonfireflight/pseuds/Moonfireflight
Summary: I wanted to bundle all of my entries for Saeyoung Week 2018 here. My entries were as follows:Day 1: Family (A story about Saeyoung struggling with a depressive episode and getting some help.)Day 2: (My entry was a drawing on Tumblr for the Space Station prompt.)Day 3: Identity (Saeran points out that Saeyoung and MC have never gone on a date. Shenanigans ensue.)Day 4: Stargazing (Saeyoung has a cute surprise for his new bride.)Day 5: Comfort (So much fluff. MC soothes Saeyoung after a long work day.)Day 6: Agency (Snippets of Saeyoung's past are shown as he breaks his final chains with the agency.)Day 7: Cats (Pure fluff drabble about Saeyoung choosing the cat of his dreams.)I really think that "Family" and "Agency" are some of my best writing so far. "Identity" is super fun.The stories aren't in chronological order, nor do they follow even in the exact same canon. They are standalone things~





	1. Family

This first entry is dedicated to my friends and family members who deal with depression. This goes out to everyone who’s been told that you can just get over it with happy thoughts etc. Know that you can win the fight, alone or with support. I believe in you, and Saeyoung would too!  
This story deals with what’s going on in Saeyoung’s head during a depressive episode, with some hints of PTSD, and one moderately graphic description of violence, so please know that going in as I don’t want my story to cause anyone harm. <3  
*******

_No, dammit, not this again!_

The mechanical clicking that filled the small room as his fingers flew across the keyboard faded to a muffled rumble that echoed within his skull. Someone had once told him that he could type at the speed of thought. Unfortunately, just then his thoughts were grinding against each other like a paper jam- that error that always happens at the worst possible time.

Though the program continued to build itself in his mind, pieces falling into place effortlessly, an invisible hand grabbed him by his collar and yanked him back and away from it, leaving him as an observer to his own mind. Numbness settled itself over him like a soaking wet blanket, heavy and lacking in any sort of comfort. He felt crushed there in the darkness, under the weight, watching as the pieces of code continued to link together monotonously, functionally correct but with none of his usual flair. He should be doing this right. He should be doing a better job at it. But... why?

The sound of the keyboard faded to nothing, and he distantly realized that his hands were tugging at his red curls, trying to focus, to get his brain back online. Did it hurt? Did it matter?

If he didn’t finish his work on time… He felt the gravel biting at his palms and knees as he knelt in an empty parking lot of a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t another car in sight, just the one he’d been brought here in. The last time he’d seen this place, he had been the one driving. Now it was his turn to stare at the dirt and wait for the man above him to squeeze the trigger, for the brain that they had invested so much time and effort into to begin to seep into the dust, just meaningless proteins and scrambled DNA.

No… that wasn’t right. He’d left the Agency behind. All that would happen is that he’d disappoint Jumin, cause his newest project to crash and burn, as the bullet tore through the rubber, causing the car to shake violently. He gripped the steering wheel, white-knuckled and shivering as he fought to regain control. From the satellite surveillance he’d done earlier that day, he knew there were few guardrails over the next mile, leaving nothing between him and a long fall to his death but his ability to fight the pull of the void.

His ears rang as he shook his head violently, trying to force the images away. If he could only focus on coding, something he could do in his sleep, focus on something he had mastered. Had he though? This project was so basic that any kid with a free week and a few beginner books could figure it out, probably in half the time. The lines of text and symbols marched along his screen, orderly, blurrily. Were his glasses dirty again? Was his vision fading finally from staring at these damned glowing screens day in and day out, with never enough sleep to let his eyes rebuild themselves?

The code marched on, little soldiers following orders. So long as they marched, he lived and got paid. Eventually, his sins would catch up to him, or he’d burn out, so it didn’t matter. He watched as someone else’s hands danced on the keyboard, digits tapping out their endless dirge. Redirecting his attention to anything else was as laborious as dragging a body bag through an empty warehouse, now meaningless dead weight, heavy with failure or the crime of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

At last, his eyes reached his goal. Golden light shone upon his left hand, second to last finger, and he let it burn through his tears, leak into the void. A simple band of gold to remind him, and to tell the world, that he wasn’t alone. It wasn’t enough to cast all of the darkness away, but it gave him enough strength to send a message to his faraway hands, to spur them into movement.

He recoiled from the bright light that flooded his world as his phone was powered up and unlocked. The ache behind his eyes was infinitely better than the numbness that was still trying to swallow him up. Squinting his bleary eyes, turning his head to look between the motes of dust that had settled upon his lenses, he saw a word formed there.

“Help”

Frantic footsteps grew closer, louder. More light poured into the room, filling the corners, chipping away at the darkness. “Saeyoung! Are you ok!?”

Those hands, someone else’s… no his. That was his ring. Only his. He pushed against the desk, spinning his dead weight until he was facing her. “Oh, honey. No. You're not alone anymore. We can get through this.”

Warmth. Arms wrapped around his body, hands massaging feeling back into his skin. Hair that smelled of honey and summer mornings tickled at his cheek, as the clouds slowly began to part, letting a few weak beams of sunlight shine upon him. Saeyoung took a deep breath, willing his lungs to fill with life, imaging her light racing through his veins, reinvigorating him. Resurrecting him. His fingers furrowed into the folds of her shirt, clutching at the soft material. “Thank you,” he rasped.

He immediately yearned for her warmth again when she unwrapped herself from him, but her caring touch still lingered. She removed his glasses, gently and carefully, cleaning them with the cloth he kept on his desk, before folding them and setting them next to it. With her sleeve, she wiped away the tears that had left hot tracks on his cheeks, replacing them with soft kisses.

Lighter footsteps approached, and another voice, small and sweet, reached his ears. “Mommy, is Daddy ok?”

“Oh, Soo Min. Perfect timing. He’s just fine, sweetie, but I bet he could use a hug!”

“Yay! Hugs are the best!” she squealed. Though the numbness remained, deep inside, he felt the edges of his mouth turn up in a smile he couldn’t entirely feel, as his daughter bounded towards him, eager to help. Her mom stepped aside so she could jump up into her father’s lap, hugging him fiercely. He held her close, marveling anew at her stunning red hair, a near perfect match to his own, and at the very fact that she existed. Proof that he could impact the world in a positive way, that he was worth something.

As quickly as she’d appeared, she chirped “I love you! I’m gonna go play now!” before running back out of the room and down the hall.

Saeyoung’s wife turned to him with a smile tinged with sadness. “I know that hugs won’t fix this completely, but thank you for being strong and calling for help. Would you be willing to make another appointment with the doctor soon?”

He nodded. The little liar in his head tried to tell him there was no point, that no doctor could fix this. He’d been fighting the tide of those dark waters for over a decade, and it was just who he was. But, logically, he knew that the medicine was helping, and bit by bit these moments were happening less frequently. “I’ll call him tomorrow. I promise. Thank you again. My family deserves better than this.”

She shook her head. “No. That’s not how a family works, Sae. We all take care of each other, no matter what. What you deserve is to be able to see yourself how I see you. A brilliant and strong man, a loving husband, and kind father.”

He pulled her to him this time, letting her sun cast away a little more of the darkness.


	2. Identity

Thank you to Mysterious Prologue Guy and Flowersofsakura for some ideas here!  
Also, while there is a French restaurant in Seoul with the name I used, I have no idea how fancy it is or if it matches this description in any way. It’s just something fun. 

*******  
“Seriously? You guys are still here? One day I’m going to wake up and find that moss has grown over you both and the couch. Or mushrooms. You are the two laziest beings on the planet.” Saeran stood in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed, shaking his head at the tangled mess of limbs, blankets, and chip crumbs on the sofa. Saeyoung stretched his arms over his head, yawning loudly, causing the girl snuggled up with him to yawn as well. 

Despite having looked half asleep a moment ago, Saeyoung brightened up immediately at the chance to rope his brother into their lazy day. “But, this sci-fi movie marathon still has almost another day to go! You should join us! I think the next one up is about gardening!” 

“Saeyoung? I don’t think ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ is actually about … gardening,” replied MC, with a giggle. 

Saeran wasn’t moved. “We’ve all been living here together for a while now. You guys have been together for… whatever. Have you dorks gone on a real date? Isn’t that what couples do? Tch…” Before Saeyoung could reply, his brother headed off to another part of the bunker, leaving the two of them to their movie marathon. 

“I guess a date could be fun. Like, dinner or something… wait, is that a giant hamster?!” 

Saeyoung wrapped his arms around MC, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Did you sleep through the first half of the movie? This is ‘Giant Hamster Rampage 4’, you know.” 

“FOUR? That’s …a lot of hamsters. You’d think the mad scientist would at least mix it up with rats or ferrets or something, right?” Saeyoung breathed out a quiet laugh at her critique of the villain’s plans and pulled her even closer to him. In no time, the movie was lost on him as well, as he focused on the girl in his arms, pondering how he had gotten so lucky. 

Saeran’s words came back to him though… a date… isn’t that what couples do? Was he… not doing this right? What if… He realized he was on the road to anxiety city if he kept that up. To stop the building wave of what-if’s from drowning him, he mentally converted those thoughts into binary. The parade of 1s and 0s in his mind calmed him somewhat. That was a silly reaction. A date would be easy, right? As Agent 707 Extreme he’d shifted the fate of world politics. He could plan a date.

Right?

***  
“ZEN. Zenny Zen the Magnificent! There you are!” The white-haired man cringed at the outburst from his friend, as a few of the girls at the patio cafe turned to stare. He saw one was already fumbling for her smartphone, likely to take a photo or summon some of her other friends to the celebrity sighting. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate the free publicity or the stares, but sometimes it could be exhausting when he just wanted a peaceful afternoon out. Besides, it was rare that fans took photos as lovely as his selfies turned out. 

Zen waved, giving the girls a winning smile, before sitting across from Saeyoung at the small glass-topped table. “Hey, it’s good to see you Sev… er, Saeyoung. Thanks for meeting me here. Though, are you sure you won’t burn up in the sunlight now that you are out of your cave?” 

Saeyoung grinned at his old friend. “It doesn’t look like I’m on fire yet, but give it time. You’re the one who should be worried about your skin, though! Even the softest kiss of sunlight might mar your perfect porcelain visage!”

“I guess we’ll both have to survive somehow! Woe is us!” They laughed together happily as they starting going over the menu. “So, what did you call me in such a panic over, anyway? Is everything okay with you and MC? With your brother?”

Saeyoung’s smile slipped a bit as he thought about how to explain his situation. “Well, I thought everything was fine. I mean, it is fine! There aren’t words for how happy she makes me. But Saeran pointed out that she and I have never gone on a date. Am I a bad boyfriend? Sometimes I feel like I still don’t know how to be anything but an agent.” 

Zen reached over and patted his friend on the arm comfortingly. “Impossible. Has MC ever asked you about it?”

The redhead pursed his lips. “Well, no… but isn’t she supposed to want that kind of thing? Fancy dinners, going out to movies. What if she resents it and isn’t telling me? I know she wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings.”

“If there’s anything I know about MC,” Zen said with a grin, “it’s that she’s honest. You’ve seen how she’s broken up fights between Jumin and I in chat? Convincing Jumin he needs to give Jaehee holiday pay? Remember her telling Yoosung to do his homework and convincing him to send her his grades? She’s not going to lie to you.” 

Saeyoung sighed. “I know but… I just don’t know how to be a boyfriend, o-or a fiance, I guess,” he corrected, with a nervous laugh, twisting the golden ring he now wore. The waitress appeared just then, and they both ordered a light lunch. 

“Saeyoung. Dude. I’ve seen the way she smiles at you. I’d do almost anything to have a lady look at me the same way. She thinks you hung the moon and stars. You’re doing fine.” Zen’s lips quirked up into a smile as he shrugged. “I never thought I’d be jealous of your luck in love! But look, if you honestly do want to take her out on a date why don't the two of you do the fancy restaurant thing? That's an easy one, right? Impress her by getting reservations somewhere amazing. Both of you can get dressed up. Side note: ladies can't resist a man in a suit, and she'll love the chance to impress you with her feminine wiles. Then, see where the night takes you.”

Excitement shone in Saeyoung’s eyes as he started to picture the scene. “Okay. That sounds easy enough. I'm sure I can get us reservations for somewhere tonight easily! We’ll just…”

“Hey, hey no… “ Zen shook his head dramatically, causing his long ponytail to swish fitfully behind him. “Anywhere you can get same day reservations isn't going to be impressive. I'm talking like….Pierre Gagnaire a few weeks from now.”

“No. This can't wait.” Saeyoung’s sudden intensity surprised his friend, though he slid back into his normally jovial attitude swiftly. “Besides, did you forget who I am? I, God Seven can get reservations anywhere, anytime.” 

“Calm down with the bravado, there. Are you thinking of using your weird computer magic to get a reservation? This isn't a problem worth getting caught and put in jail for, man. You know she'd gladly wait.”

“it's the only thing that's worth it. Thanks for the advice, Zen! Gotta go!” Zen boggled as Saeyoung dropped a crumpled handful of cash on the table and ran back to his car. Sorting through the pile, he found enough money to cover at least three meals. Sometimes that kid was almost as detached from the ways of the world as Jumin, he thought to himself as he finished his lunch.

***  
“Honey! You're home just in time for ‘Night of the Daywalkers II! This is going to be sooo bad!” MC sprung off of the couch to meet her fiance, bounding into his arms. 

Saeyoung wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him tightly. His worry that he’d been disappointing her mingled with his excitement over tonight’s plans, leaving him slightly dizzy. As with every time he held her, his anxiety began to dissipate, releasing its hold on him. 

As his internal stat meters leveled off, he pulled away just enough to see her face. “Well… what if, instead of ‘Night of the Daywalkers II,’ we went on a date?”

He watched as several emotions played across her face. She seemed to start out skeptical, and quickly warm to the idea. Worry darted through his nerves again, lighting them up randomly and leaving him feeling unsteady. Did she hate the idea? Was she mad that he waited so long? “Umm, okay! Let’s do it! Whatever you have planned, I already love it!” 

She squeaked as he pulled her to him again in a bear hug. She always knew how to heal his fears, which made him glad that he was awful at hiding them from her. Years of training fell apart before her honesty and love for him. 

She wiggled free of his grasp so she could look up at him, eager to hear his idea for their date. “Well…,” he drawled, dragging out the word to a ridiculous length. “How about dinner tonight at Pierre Gagnaire?” 

Sayoung tried not to laugh as her eyes went round and her eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. “But it’s impossible to get a reservation there so fast! How long have you been planning this? When are we going? Oh no! I need to find a dress to wear, and my shoes and…” She finished with a tiny noise of panic, grabbing her phone to check the time and nearly dropping it in the process. 

“MC, shhh. Don’t worry! You are always beautiful. We have three hours before our reservation, so that’s plenty of time to get ready. Also, I already asked, and Driver Kim will pick us up so we can travel in style!” She didn’t seem entirely soothed by his words though. 

“Saeyoung! My fancy clothes are all at my house, not here! And before you say it, I’m not going to borrow one of your dresses.” Her grin belied any anger in her voice, but he realized this was, indeed, a problem. While he honestly didn’t care if she decided to go in her sweatpants, he knew she’d be happier getting to dress up for the occasion and fit in with the atmosphere. 

Okay, he could fix this. “No problem, babe! I’ll grab my outfit, drive us to your place in no time, and Driver Kim can pick us up from there instead. Will that work?” 

MC crinkled her nose adorably before nodding. “Okay, I think so! I hope I can find everything I need and that my dress isn’t wrinkled. There’s only one way to find out, though. Let’s go!” 

***  
An hour and a half later, MC was sitting on the floor in front of her closet, tossing various things behind her as she tried to locate her shoes. Saeyoung reclined on her bed, smiling as he watched her. It was the first time he’d been in her room, and he was enjoying being surrounded by an atmosphere that was just pure...her. “Hey, if you ever want to... bring more of your stuff over to the bunker, you are welcome to, you know?” He nervously played with the corner of a blanket, letting it slip between his fingers. Honestly, he’d really wanted to ask her to move in with him, but couldn’t quite manage it. Yet. 

With a grunt, she fell backward out of the closet and onto her back, triumphantly holding up a pair of black dress shoes. “I found them!! And, Saeyoung? Did you just ask me to move in with you?” She was smiling ear to ear as she bounded up from the floor and to the edge of the bed. His hand flew to his chest as he felt his heart leap. He really couldn’t hide anything from her. 

“Er, yes, I mean. That’s what I meant to ask you. Do you really want to? I know my place is kind of weird and,” the rest of his words were smothered by a kiss that left his head spinning. 

“Obviously, yes! If that’s OK, I mean! I don’t have a ton of stuff but... “ This time it was her turn to be interrupted as his lips met hers. 

***  
A few sweet minutes passed in each other’s arms until they both jumped when Saeyoung’s phone meowed, indicating that he had a new message. Flustered, he scrambled for his phone. “It’s Jumin. Our ride will be here in 30 minutes. We need to get dressed! O-o-or more dressed. Fancy dressed!” 

MC nearly flew off the bed and ran towards her closet again, this time flinging clothing out of the way. “My dress!!” 

***  
Twenty-eight minutes later, they were at last dressed and ready to go. “Saeyoung… you look amazing in that suit.” Her face was bright red and her eyes wide as she looked him over. “Uh, not that you aren’t always handsome,” she corrected. 

Saeyoung wasn’t even phased by it, as all he could do was stare. She wore a dark blue dress that swished just below her knees. The length of it was dotted with shimmering bits of glitter that made it look like a night sky. MC laughed as he took off his glasses and cleaned them hastily before putting them back on to resume gawking at her. “Saeyoung, stop staring! It’s embarrassing! I’m not used to dressing up like this. It’s awkward.” Watching her blush again while shuffling her feet only made her more beautiful to him. 

“MC, you are completely stunning,” he breathed. “You have no idea how lucky I am to be the one by your side tonight.” She smiled at him shyly as he stepped towards her, running his hands along her arms. “You are, and always shall be, the brightest star in my sky.” 

MEOW

“Ah, our chariot awaits, madame!” 

***  
The two of them giggled together in the spacious interior of the limo. MC had never been in one before and was half awestruck and half amused by the absurdity of it. Saeyoung was having trouble resisting being a backseat driver. Driver Kim was a pro, but Saeyoung was sure that he could have gotten them there in half the time. 

***  
As the maître d’ lead them to their table, MC was whispering to her fiance the whole way. “This place is ridiculous, Saeyoung! I feel underdressed even in this! I feel like I’m going to bump into something and cost us a fortune!” 

He patted her arm reassuringly. “I promise you have nothing to worry about, my love. Let’s have fun and enjoy dinner. Though… wow. Everyone here does seem pretty stuffy, huh?” He’d been in a few utterly luxurious restaurants back when he was Agent 707 Extreme. It’s so easy to get people to talk over a glass of wine or to get close enough to hear particular conversations when someone is more focused on their meal. However, this was his first time going to one just for the joy of it, and it felt like they were the only ones here to have a good time. 

After some deliberation and his insistence that she not fret about the pricing, the couple decided on fondue for dinner. Neither had tried it before, but the idea of dipping various items in ludicrous amounts of cheese seemed like an easy win. Once they were settled in at their table and had begun enjoying their meal, the discomfort they had felt earlier ebbed away before them. 

“Hey, you knocked my crouton off my fork, meanie!” MC stuck her tongue out as she poked at the sea of melted cheese, trying to find her wayward bit of bread. 

“Nuh uh. I wasn’t anywhere near your fork!” At that, he began blocking her attempts to find her crouton, initiating a sluggish and awkward movie swordfight underneath the cheese. 

“You were too,” MC retorted, leveling her fondue fork at Saeyoung. He gasped at her theatrically, before raising his fork in a defensive posture. 

“Madame! Are you challenging me to a duel? My honor will not allow me to deny such a request, you know.” He raised an eyebrow at her, weighing the fork in his hand, trying to figure out the best way to hold it for a duel.

That was when the waiter returned. “Sir… madame… I’d ask you to refrain from...whatever you are about to do.” He was trying to stay polite, but at the same time, he sounded a bit like a teacher who’d caught two students running in the hallway. They lowered their forks, both looking much like said students. “Was there anything else you would be needing?”

“I think we’re fine, good sir,” stated Saeyoung, a bit more firmly than needed. As soon as the waiter’s back was to him, he stuck his tongue out and made a silly face. MC burst into laughter, dropping her fork with a clatter, earning stern frowns from several directions. The waiter turned around with surprising speed, catching Saeyoung’s ridiculous expression and stalked back to the table.

“I don’t think you understand the nature of this establishment, dear customers. Is there any possibility, that, with a significant discount on your bill, I could convince you two to enjoy the rest of your evening elsewhere?” While he maintained a friendly tone, it was evident that they were being very politely dismissed from the restaurant.

Saeyoung grinned at his lady. “Well, that’s a new achievement for me. I’ve never been kicked out of a restaurant before! I wonder how many points that’s worth?” He pulled out his wallet and placed several bills on the table, counting them out before the waiter’s eyes. “Will that cover the damages?” He couldn’t help but laugh again at the man’s reaction. It was several times more than what the meal was worth. “Keep the change,” he said with a wink. 

“That will… certainly do,” he mused. “I wish you two a lovely evening.” 

***  
“Sae, I feel so bad! You went through all of this work to plan a date, and I got us kicked out!” MC looked forlorn, sitting on the curb outside of the restaurant.  
“You?” Saeyoung chuckled. “I’m the one who was caught making faces at Mr. Fancy Pants.”

“I started the fork fight though.”

He laughed out loud at that. “And I would have finished it if we hadn’t been interrupted! You were seconds away from having that gorgeous dress get covered in cheese.” 

She gasped. “You wouldn’t have!” 

“Maybe. Now we’ll never know. One second…” He tapped his phone’s screen a few times. “Okay, we should have a ride here shortly. I let Jumin know that we didn’t need a ride home and called us a cab instead.” Wrapping an arm abound MC, he pulled her in close. “Most importantly, I hope you still enjoyed the night. I… I realized that Saeran was right. I hadn’t taken you out on a date yet, and I felt like I wasn't being a good boyfriend. I promise next time will go better.”

MC leaned into him. “Honey, no. I know that typical couples are supposed to go on dates and stuff, but we aren’t typical, and I love that about us. I’m happy whatever I’m doing, so long as I’m with you.” He squeaked as she poked him in the ribs gently. “Dates could be fun, but let’s plan them together next time, OK? I felt so out of place in somewhere so fancy!”

Saeyoung signed in relief. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt out of place. I shouldn’t have made us try to be something other than the dorks that we are, huh? Oh look, our ride is here! Let’s go home, my sweetie~.” 

***  
Saeran had heard his brother and future sister-in-law come home earlier and decided to leave them be. When the doorbell rang about half an hour later, the curiosity got the better of him. 

When he stepped out into the living room, he saw that they were back to sprawling on the couch, though his brother was in a very nice suit, and MC was wearing a shimmering dress. MC was laughing while Saeyoung fed her a slice of pizza, to the tune of screams coming from the television. 

He stopped next to the couch and looked down at them. “... You two are, without a doubt, the strangest people on the planet. But, I have to admit, this is kind of weirdly adorable.” 

Saeyoung almost dropped what was left of the pizza slice as he exclaimed, “my brother thinks we are adorable! I think we unlocked another achievement - cutest and luckiest couple on the planet!” 

Saeran rolled his eyes. “Don’t push it, you goof. Also, gimme a slice of that.” His brother lifted the box towards him with a smile.

“Want to watch the next movie with us? It starts in just a few minutes. Pleeeeease?” Saeyoung batted his eyelashes while sticking out his lower lip.

With a sigh, Saeran sat down on his favorite chair nearby them. “...Sure.” 

Beaming with joy, Saeyoung grasped MC’s hand. While changing his life so drastically over the last few months had been scary at times, learning who he really was had been the real challenge. But he much preferred “fiance” and “brother” to “secret agent” and “dangerous hacker.” He was sure the rest would fall into place in time, including “husband” and, perhaps one day, “father.”


	3. Stargazing

“Are we there yet?” 

Saeyoung chuckled as his new wife asked the question again. It was only fair since he’d kept her blindfolded for most of the trip. “Almost! And this time I mean it!” He tapped his phone’s screen a few times, starting up one of their favorite songs, which they sang together as he cruised along the forested road.

“Are we driving down a dirt road now?” 

He smiled. “Yep! Very perceptive! I’m glad we got married properly instead of me kidnapping you and throwing you in the trunk. I can’t get away with anything!” She burst into laughter as he pulled the car to a stop, kicking up gravel. “Alright, babe. We’re finally here. Sit tight, and I’ll be around in a second.” He hopped out of his silver sports car and opened the door for her, taking her hand and helping her step out into the fresh evening air. 

She took a moment to get her feet, but even blindfolded and at an unknown location, she was still smiling. It was a gorgeous evening. A light breeze was blowing little seed pods from the trees around, and they skittered across the walkway with a sound like gentle wooden chimes. They both sighed in contentment at the sweet music that the forest had gifted them with. “I can’t wait to see where we are. I can tell we’re in the forest. It smells so nice here. Are we going camping for our honeymoon?” 

Saeyoung couldn’t stop grinning, to the point that the muscles in his cheeks were starting to ache. He’d been planning this for months, working with Jumin and some contractors he knew. It was only his second time seeing the finished product, and it still stunned him. “Camping?” He chuckled. “Not exactly. Are you ready?” 

“Yep!”

“Okay,” he said as he gently led her to the perfect viewing spot. “I’m going to take off your blindfold now.” He very carefully untied the blindfold, making sure not to pull any of her hair, and tucked it in his pocket. 

She gasped, taking in the view of a two-story log cabin with a small balcony. The walls were dark wood and the roof a deep forest green. She was sure she’d never seen it before, yet there was still something familiar about it. “Saeyoung, it’s beautiful. Is this where we’re staying? And, why do I feel like I’ve been here before?” 

He stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders. “It’s my old hideout. The cabin we stayed in last year. With a little help, I now own the property and had some improvements done on it, as you can see. You’re too bright to be kept hidden away in the bunker all the time, so I thought we could do with something like a vacation home. What do you think?” 

She turned and threw her arms around him, hugging him close and planting kisses on his cheeks and lips. “It’s amazing! Oh, thank you so much, Saeyoung. I love it!” 

She loved it. She loved him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. An intense wave of joy was building up inside his chest, filling him up with pride and awe. “I’m so glad. I was afraid you wouldn’t like it since I planned all of this without you. I… Let’s go inside. I want to show you the rest!”

Hand in hand, they ran the short distance to the house, laughing together. Had he ever felt this free and light? He opened a nearly undetectable wooden panel to reveal a hidden keypad with a hand scanner. He entered a code, then pressed his palm to the scanner, which beeped happily. A digitized voice said “Welcome, Mr. Choi. Please have player number two place their hand on the scanner.” She looked at him in confusion, and he gestured towards the panel, where she placed her hand. “Registered! Welcome, Mrs. Choi. Please enjoy your stay!” 

The door opened slowly, revealing that it was a thick metal door with wood paneling to hide its nature. “Safety first, right?” He chuckled a bit nervously, hoping she wouldn’t find the changes too much. 

“Mmhmm! Good thinking! Also, Mrs. Choi… I love the sound of that,” she purred, grinning at him, and the blush spreading over his face. 

The cabin itself had been designed much like the door. It was surprisingly high tech but made to look mostly rustic. The kitchen was reasonably modern, with new fixtures and appliances. While the den was made up of a comfortable couch and a few tall, plush chairs surrounding a massive stone fireplace, just off to the side of that was jarringly bright and modern computer command station. He led her up a spiraling staircase to the upper floor, which was just one large room with a peaked roof. In the center was a king size canopy bed with shimmering celestial themed fabrics. The rest of the room was furnished with storage and a cozy breakfast nook. 

The far wall of the room consisted of two tall windows with wispy curtains and glass double doors leading out to the balcony she’d seen earlier. He opened them dramatically, bowing and gesturing for her to step outside. 

They had arrived late enough that once the tour of the cabin was complete, the first stars of the night were beginning to make their debut, shimmering brilliantly. Out here, away from the city, even the dimmest stars seemed bright and full of shifting colors. As she stood there in awe, marveling at the sight, Saeyoung stepped out to the balcony with her and set a black plastic case down on the small table. She watched him as he went to work, using his cellphone as a flashlight. After a few moments, he’d assembled a telescope on a tripod. 

“I’ve wanted one of these since I was little. The stars always seemed so far away, and my dream has been to get closer to them. It will be a while before I can build us a working rocket ship, so this will have to do for now!” He peered into the telescope, adjusting the focus before he stepped back and gestured for his wife to take a turn. 

She was in awe of the sights that he presented her with, taking her on a virtual tour of the night sky from their balcony. He knew the names of many of the stars and was able to spot a few planets they could see from their vantage point as well. He took her on a tour of the constellations that sprawled across the night sky, though she couldn't recall having heard of Dum Cattus or the Dr. Pepper Nebula. They were beautiful, no less. 

Eventually, the two of them began to shiver, realizing it was getting too cold to stay out much longer, so they retreated into the cabin. Hand in hand, Saeyoung led her to the bed, pointing up at the star-speckled canopy. He turned to wink at her conspiratorially. “I hope you aren’t tired of stargazing just yet…” 

 

*Dum Cattus is Latin for "Long Cat" :3c


	4. Comfort

Saeyoung stretched his arms high above his head and leaned back in his chair, filling the room with a succession of popping noises as the movement released some of the tension in his spine and shoulders. He’d been working endlessly on this assignment for three days, occasionally catching brief, restless naps in his chair. 

He tried to remember how he used to do this before she came into his life. Before he even realized he was getting hungry, she’d slide a plate of food next to him, silently, so as not to disturb him. She’d developed ninja-like skills when it came to taking care of him while he was focused on a job, and sometimes he didn’t even notice the food until the delicious smells had reached his nostrils. 

She was a blessing. He’d never had comfort in his life before her, other than resting his eyes in his darkened bedroom, waiting for the afterimages of lines of code to clear from his vision. Even that was a cold and lonely sort of comfort. 

With his work finished at last, he stood up carefully, letting the blood flow back through his legs normally before he tried to take a step. Zombie-like, he shambled through the house, seeking out the one thing that could recharge his nearly depleted batteries. 

She was sitting on her favorite couch, curled up with a well-worn book, one she’d read many times before. He remembered one night when the nightmares of his past were hounding him and keeping him from sleep. She’d told him most of the story, and read him her favorite passages until finally, lulled by her soothing voice, he had entered into a peaceful sleep. 

His heart leaped as he watched a warm and welcoming smile encompass her face upon seeing him. The book was set aside, and she held out her arms wide for him. Bless her. She knew what he was like when he was exhausted, at 5% battery, HP bar blinking red. He flopped onto the couch, back against the cushions, and gently laid his head in her lap. Heaven. He had found heaven. 

This was his reward for work well done. He now only took on freelance work that helped or protected people. He was finally the Defender of Justice he’d longed to be and proclaimed to be. That was the only way he could possibly deserve this after-work ritual, and to allow himself to have this life. A sigh left his lips as she let one hand rest on his shoulder, the other softly carding through his hair. After a few moments, she switched to massaging his scalp with both hands, lightly scratching with her nails. It was comforting and rejuvenating all at once. 

“Thank you,” he uttered as she cast her healing spell with her fingers and the warmth of her body. He rolled over on his back, gazing up at her as she smiled down upon him. As careful as can be, she removed his glasses, folding them up reverently and setting them safely to the side. The moment she touched his face, he felt the stress of the last three days draining from his body. She massaged his brow, his cheeks, his temples, banishing the aches and pains from days of eyestrain. 

Every touch of this nearly silent ritual wrote a love letter upon his heart from her to him. She’d made it her mission to make up for the decades of his life in which he had been touch-starved. Years when he’d only dreamt of this kind of tenderness, but had no reference or context for it. It was the most addicting thing he could imagine, far more so than caffeine. He was endlessly greedy for it, his hands finding her automatically at random times through the day. Her softness had a powerful gravity to it that drew him in, and he never tried to fight it. 

At last, he felt his HP bar nearly at max again. “All better, honey?” Her sweet voice creaked just slightly as it was the first time she’d spoken in hours, but it was still the most beautiful sound he could fathom. 

“Yep! You’ve saved the Defender of Justice again with your healing magic!” His voice sounded no better, yet it still made her smile widen. 

“Good. Let’s head to bed, okay?” Magic words if he’d ever heard them. She helped him sit up, and led him by the hand to their shared room. The dim, cozy atmosphere settled over and through him, chasing the last of his aches away. Silk sheets and a thick, fluffy comforter awaited him. Only the best for his angel. She clicked the light off before joining him under the covers, snuggling up as close as possible, wrapping her arms around him, and nuzzling into his shoulder. He sighed again as he settled in. Warmth, softness, comfort, love. Things he never imagined could be his. He whispered a prayer of thanks before kissing her goodnight and drifting off to a peaceful slumber.


	5. Agency

Surrounded by rows and columns of flickering lights, his breath leaving faint ghosts in the air before him, Saeyoung looked upon his old legacy. Even a fraction of the data contained within this room could change the world, toppling nations, raising dictators, tearing down heroes. Locked here within his impenetrable fortress of ice and stone, it was untouchable. But that's what he’d thought about the RFA servers, wasn’t it? 

Now that he was free from the agency, it was time to bury it all for good. He closed his eyes, a map of the room forming in his mind. Delicate bundles of cables twisted behind each server, linking one to another to another, an intricate web of connections. Behind and beneath that, another set of wires, connected to explosive devices, his last resort. He’d woken up from many dreams of a final standoff in this room, his hand finding his phone in his pocket, blindly tapping out the code he knew by heart, then placing a trembling digit on the fingerprint sensor as electricity sparked to life within those hidden veins. The work he’d done at Rika’s apartment was nothing compared to this. 

Once his bunker had become a home, he knew he should have dismantled the system. It was bad enough that she’d lived under the threat of a bomb of his own design at Rika’s place. This data though… he still had to protect it and rigging the room to self-destruct at his command was the only way he knew how, even if it felt to him like a crude solution.

That was why he’d spent the last several near sleepless days designing a program to destroy the data he’d made it his life’s work to collect, connect, and curate. 

He sat down on the concrete floor, his laptop before him on his crossed legs. As it booted up, he adjusted his fingerless gloves, pulling them until the leather bit at his skin, and took a deep breath. To anyone else, his password would have been inscrutable nonsense. To him, it was a prayer, a sacred pact between man and machine. Once unlocked, he pulled a cable from over his shoulder and connected his laptop to his server system for the last time. His fingers lingered on the cable, and he imagined that he could feel the current of data flowing within it, ones and zeroes pulsing softly. 

He traced over the keys on his laptop, some of them so worn from use that their surface was slick like glass. Closing his eyes again, he envisioned this room as a dark, isolated, spot in space. The fathomless void between galactic superclusters, sprawling webs of innumerable stars, endless and eternal. Let this little pinprick of light, a pale dwarf star, remain unseen among the vastness beyond. Just a little longer. 

Once satisfied that his prayer was complete, he booted up the program. Its simplicity was almost anticlimactic. Start. A simple progress bar stretched across the screen with a percentile. 0% became 1% and onwards, as data was unraveled, reconnected in nonsensical ways, before being scrambled, encrypted, and destroyed. He wasn’t sure how long it would take, so he leaned back against one of the server racks, pulling his hood up to keep him warm, and vowed to watch the bar until his task was complete.

8%

Muffled melodic beeping wormed its way through his mind, forcibly ejecting him from the world of dreams. He reached out to grab the last shreds of the image he had seen, even as it faded from his memory, his hand grasping nothing, his mind remembering nothing. Saeyoung sat up, blinking as his eyes got used to the light filtering into the room through the half-open blinds of his dorm room. He groped around the headboard blindly until his hands found his glasses, and he cursed to himself as he grabbed the lens instead of the frame. After cleaning them off and donning them, he took in his surroundings.

He had stayed up several hours after his dorm mate had gone to sleep, determined to get ahead on both his homework and his “special project,” therefore his computer desk was littered with dark red cans and convenience store food packaging. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’d just woken up and looking at the mess left him feeling tired already. 

Saeyoung wandered over to the window, gazing out at the campus grounds below. It felt like the university was an island adrift in a sea of trees, hidden from the world. As his eyes wandered up to the few sparse clouds slowly roving across the sky, something tickled at the back of his mind. He focused his attention on that flickering, not sure if it was a memory or a glimpse of last night’s forgotten dream. 

In another world, he wasn’t looking out that window alone. Saeran stood beside him silently, as they both pondered how far they had come in life. They had escaped home together, running into the night, hand in hand, through field and forest, to eventually end up here. No, not here. Why would he have joined with the agency if Saeran were…? 

Error. 

He gripped the windowsill to steady himself, as he tried to chase away the cold logic that was interfering with his dream and bring it back, even for a second. The vision of his brother lingered like an afterimage. 

Operation not permitted.

No, he couldn’t have this. He shook his head to instead cast away the rest of the fleeting glimpse of what could have been. Learning to let go of the past was part of his training here. It served no purpose other than to hold him back, tie him down. Sure. 

The moment left him feeling frustrated and restless, and he cast his eyes around the room, seeking some way to vent. A glow from the other side of the room caught his attention. Ah, perfect~. His hapless roommate had left his computer unlocked. Oh, he was never going to make it here if he couldn’t protect something so simple as his own PC. Saeyoung sat down at the unfamiliar keyboard, hating the way it felt to him, harsh and noisy, but he couldn’t help but grin slightly at what he had planned for the poor machine and its owner. It would be a lesson to remember for years. 

15%

As Saeyoung stepped out of the “employees only” door to the main floor of the casino, he forced his face into a smile despite the raucous noise and the near blinding light reflecting off gold accents from all directions. It seemed to him that any surface that wasn’t gilded was either a bright red or covered in garish blinking lights. Well, it just ensured that no one was likely to pay him any mind, and he liked that just fine. 

Once his eyes adjusted to the scenery, he envisioned the map he had memorized as overlaying the room and began working his way to his quarry’s table. He had never been anywhere this crowded before and the press of bodies around him was almost overwhelming. Occasionally, when there was a small gap in the crowd, he could catch a glimpse of the chaotically colored carpet below, and it nearly made him nauseous. It looked like someone had poured a mosaic into a blender briefly before dumping it back onto the floor. 

Saeyoung had only made it a few meters into the room before he found himself surrounded by a group of glamorously dressed women who circled him, tittering like birds. One of them locked onto him, fixing him with a lustful look beneath her glimmering dark green eyeshadow. “Oh, aren’t you a cutie? I could just eat you up!” Their vividly colored, deeply cut, waves of sequins might have impressed another man, but to him, they looked like vapid peacocks. Wait, weren’t the fancy peacocks male? Anyway…

He made a show of blushing at their attention, ducking his head shyly as he politely maneuvered through the first gap he found between them. “Pardon me,” he murmured. It’s not that he wasn’t interested in women, but he just tried not to think about them most of the time. He had never had the luxury of making a big deal out of his birthdays, so he wasn’t entirely sure if he was seventeen or eighteen anyway, and those women were easily a decade his senior. 

A boisterous voice reached his ears, drawing his eyes to the source. Sitting in a booth in the corner, he spotted his target. He was an older man, gray wisps of hair barely covering a third of his bulbous head. While he maintained the mask of customer service politeness and servitude, inside, he imagined sticking his tongue out at the man. Of course, he deserved much worse than that. He was a prominent politician, known for his humanitarian assistance in several third world countries. That was his mask, of course. 

Tonight, this man was headed to an auction where he’d sit in the darkened room, face shrouded, lips crusting with drying saliva, as he waited to pick out his next young “bride.” Saeyoung didn’t know what he was getting into with the agency exactly, but if it meant getting to ruin the life of someone like this and stop them from exploiting others, he would put everything he had into it. 

As he approached the table, he let his expression slip into one of apology, knowing that the man would be displeased to see his face. “Who are you? Where’s the lovely lady that has been waiting on me hand and foot all evening?” 

He bowed ever so slightly, one hand to his chest. “My sincerest apologies. Your waitress is attending to another table at this time. I would be honored to handle your check for you though, and will make sure that she receives it if you intend to leave a tip.” 

The man grunted his voice losing all pretense of politeness. “Fine. Whatever. I don’t tip anyway, especially when they send some scrawny kid to beg for it. Here.” He slapped his credit card down onto the small tray with the receipt and returned to this conversation with the other men at the table. Saeyoung bowed again, before stepping back into the crowd.

Slipping back through the “employees only” door, he brought up his mental map again, swiftly making his way to the storage room where he’d left his gear. As he was trained, he carefully held the card so that he wouldn’t add his own fingerprints to it, before lifting those of his target. Then he swiped the card through a tiny scanner that he’d plugged into his phone. Once the information was digitally packaged up and sent to his bosses, he hurried back out onto the floor seeking out the waitress who was probably already on her way to the table to pick up the same card that he was holding. 

She was closer to the table than he’d hoped, forcing him to nearly run to catch up with her. “Ah, there you are! Here's the receipt for the Morgan table. He was in a hurry to get out of here it seems, so he yelled at me to pick it up for him. I figured you’d want the tip though so I’m glad I tracked you down!”

She blinked at the red-headed young man standing in front of her. “Um, thanks. That old bastard never tips anyway though. Are you new here?” He grinned when he saw the fierceness in her hazel eyes combined with the light blush that spread across her cheeks. 

“Yep! It’s my first night, and hopefully not my last!” He winked at her conspiratorially, though he wasn’t sure why exactly. It just seemed like the thing to do. 

A smile played over her lips as she replied, “I can’t say you’ll love it here, but maybe you’ll find something that makes it worth your time. My name’s June. What’s yours?” 

Her insinuation was clear, and he suddenly found himself half-wishing that his time here wasn’t just a farce. “Nice to meet you, June. Tom’s the name. I better hurry off though. My table is expecting me!” 

She took the tray from his hands, her warm fingers lingering upon his for a moment, leaving him sure that his cheeks matched his hair as warmth tingled through his chest and face. “Thank you, Tom. I’ll see you later,” she said with a grin. 

A harsh voice in his ear interrupted any thoughts that were trying to form in his mind as he watched June walk away. “707. Data received. Get to extraction now.” 

It was time to disappear again, as always. Any connections formed would evaporate. He was just a ghost, a shadow. Today he was Tom; tomorrow he’d be someone else entirely. In his mind, he put any stray thoughts about the cute waitress with hazel eyes into a bottle, corked it, and threw it out to sea to be lost to the tides. No, those thoughts were not for him. 

22% 

Saeyoung held his breath, his nose itching and twitching as he cautiously made his way forward on his elbows and knees, trying not to bang his flashlight on the metal paneling below him. If his memory served him well, and it usually did, he was going the right way. He didn’t relish the idea of backtracking through these ducts. 

A hushed voice spoke up from his earpiece. “Hey, Zero Seven, are you almost there?” 

He couldn't help but grin when he heard his partner. His response was nearly silent, his headset relying more on the vibrations of his jawbone than his actual voice, “Yep! Though I wish you had gotten a chance to scope out the place first.”

There was a pause before the other man responded. It was the pause of someone trying to work out exactly how he was going to end up as the butt of a joke this time. “...Why?”

Saeyoung halted his advance as he scrunched up his entire face, barely suppressing an urge to sneeze and laugh at the same time. “These ducts are so gross and dusty! Where's my maid to save me from these dangerous working conditions?” 

The growl in his ear made him flinch. “I’ll show you dangerous working conditions if you don’t cut that maid crap! Now, are you almost to the office, or what?”

“Yes, ma’am! I’m headed in right now!” He’d reached the spot he had marked as his goal on the map and gently set down his flashlight so he could retrieve the screwdriver from his vest. The office would be empty for another half hour, but he still removed the screws holding the vent in place as quickly and quietly as he could. Once it was out of the way, he dropped into the room silently, landing in a three-point stance. 

He remained crouched there for a moment, glancing around the room. It was dark except for the glow of a monitor and a few other flickering lights here and there. He didn’t detect any signs of traps or other sensors, not that he expected any. “Alright, Vanders, I’m in.”

The new nickname for his partner barely earned him a vaguely affirmative grumble from his earpiece. Apparenty he’d have to try harder next time. As a stream of other ideas came to mind… Vanderson, Vanderbilt… boring. Vanderslim Shady? Hmmm. Now that had potential. In the midst of this, he heard his partner’s voice in his mind. “Focus on the mission, dammit!” He glanced at this watch. Only 24 minutes remaining. Imaginary Mrs. Wondergood had a fair point. 

Sure that he was safe from detection, he plopped himself down in the leather office chair and kicked his feet up on the desk. Ah, generic executive furniture at its best. Saeyoung pulled the keyboard onto his lap and started working his way into the system. The task was familiar enough that his mind began to wander as his fingers tapped away. 

What had this person done, exactly, to get on the agency’s radar? He glanced away from the keyboard at the array of family photos flanking the monitor. Just because someone has a family doesn’t mean they are a good person, he reminded himself. He wasn’t here to collect dirt on the target tonight but to set up connections to monitor them and alter their data and their perception of the digital world as needed. 

707\. Defender of Justice. That’s how he liked to see himself, at least when he knew he was helping put bad guys away. However, over time he’d been learning that things aren’t always that simple. People weren’t simply good or bad. Though, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was becoming a bad person himself. He took a certain sense of pride from a job well done even if the results were...morally ambiguous. 

With a sigh, he informed Vanderwood that he was done, before pulling himself back up into the dusty vents. 

36% 

Dammit, this job was supposed to be quick and easy. He was sure they would have been able to get out without detection. What had he missed? Even while running for his life from armed guards, lackeys, thugs, whatever, he didn’t look, he couldn’t help turning the whole planning phase over and over in head again, determined to find where he had made a mistake. Suddenly every door in this condemned apartment complex felt like a trap just waiting for him to make another misstep.

The unmistakable sound of gunfire blasted through the building again. He could feel the sound in his chest where his heart was beating wildly as he thundered down the hall. He had to get out of this building, or they would eventually catch him, or he would run face first into another group, but he was still on the fifth floor. Well, as long as one of them made it out, the mission would be a success.

“Vanderwood, are you almost to the ground floor?” he rasped between breaths. 

His partner replied immediately, sounding much less exhausted and panicked, but his words were still tinged with worry. “Yeah kid, I’m fine. Home free. You don’t sound so good though. You’re close, right?”

Saeyoung smiled as he turned a corner, unsure if the goons behind him were gaining on him or not. It didn’t matter. He would focus instead on being a distraction for Vanderwood’s escape. “Yeah, I’m basically at the ground floor already. Get out of there, and I’ll be right behind you.” 

In the pause before his partner’s reply came through, Saeyoung heard another shot ring out as a bullet buried itself in the wall inches from his face. While the response had to get through the shrill ringing in his ears, he still clearly heard an almost growled, “bullshit,” through his earpiece. “That gunshot wasn’t ‘basically at the ground floor.’ I’m coming to get you.” 

None of his options looked great. He could stay silent and play dead and hope his partner would give up on him. Not likely. He could try to fight his pursuers but he was 85% sure he didn’t have enough bullets to take them all out, and he always preferred to avoid bloodshed when possible. Just then, he saw a sign above a partly open door not much further down the hallway and ran to it as fast as he could while keeping a low profile. 

Saeyoung rushed through the door and slammed it behind him, hoping it would buy a few seconds. Taking the stairs two at a time, he began his descent. “Alright. I’m at the stairwell. 5th floor. It’s not looking good. Seriously, you should leave without me. The data is what matters.” 

He almost laughed at the staticky snort that assaulted his still ringing ears. “Leave you behind,” Vanderwood huffed, clearly running too now, “and explain why failed to keep the kid genius safe on a quick data grab? Not a damn chance.” 

Heh. His big brain was what had gotten him into this mess, and apparently, it was valuable enough to someone to ensure he got out of it. His bosses were always quick to remind him that he wasn’t a person, just a convenient collection of skills and talents. An investment.

A pair of shots tore through the stairwell, seemingly echoing from every direction. Saeyoung pressed his back against the wall and drew his gun, on high alert for anything that would tell him where his attackers were. From the sound of it, some were still headed down the stairs, and others were maintaining position above. He didn’t want to fight them, but if Vanderwood was on his way, he also didn’t want his partner running face first into the line of fire. 

In the chaos, he’d lost track of what floor he was on exactly. The second? Third? Maybe he could ditch out of the stairwell and figure out another way out. Just as he was about to reach for the door, it flew open. Vanderwood threw his arm out knocking Saeyoung back against the wall, aimed his gun up the stairs and fired. Saeyoung’s ears were assaulted by a terrified scream, but thankfully he didn’t have to endure it for long as he was yanked through the door by Vanderwood. “We’re going. Now.” 

They bolted from the building and into the next alley, making their way to their getaway car. Saeyoung’s calves were burning from the effort of the last half hour, and his guts twisted fitfully. Despite having resigned himself to death just moments ago, the realization of how close he’d come to it sat within his stomach like a rock, and he had to fight to keep it from pulling him down. 

The sight of their escape vehicle made him feel somewhat better. Cars made sense. When one part broke, you just replaced it. The connections were logical. Brains, not so much. 

They’d barely sat down in the car before Saeyoung was pushing the vehicle to its limits, skipping through traffic like it was standing still until they reached the expressway. The ride had been silent so far, and he hoped it would stay that way. However, experience told him he was about to get a Vanderlecture. 

“Shit, kid, do you have a deathwish?” 

Yep, here we go. “What? No. So long as one of us got out with the data, which you still have in that hideous jacket of yours, mission accomplished. I was just being logical.” He kept his voice light, channeling what little energy he had into being 707, not the confused and terrified Saeyoung who had nearly been shot in the head today. “You’re the maniac who came back for me.” 

Vanderwood grunted next to him. “Look. Part of my job is to keep you safe, and I don’t need you making it harder by leaping feet first into the jaws of death every time you have a chance. I know you’re not dumb, so it’s something else. The agency’s psychological training isn’t exactly a walk in the park but…damn kid; I’m worried about you.”

He wasn’t wrong. Saeyoung had learned years ago that the “something else” Vanderwood was just now seeing, that emptiness inside of him that sometimes left him unable to care what happened to him, that left him feeling invisible, fake, worthless, was called depression. It’s something he would deal with on his own terms when he had time, not at the hands of the agency’s spooky “doctors”. 

Wearing his dopiest grin, he turned to Vanderwood and cooed, “ooooh, Mrs. Vanderwood does care about me! I knew it! I’m going to write this down in my diary tonight and fill the whole page with rainbow hearts!!” 

His partner didn’t respond, but inside, both of them knew they were on a dangerous path. 

49%

Saeyoung groaned as the hot acid in his stomach churned fitfully. This project never seemed to end, causing him to lose track of days and to ignore the messages his body was sending him for as long as he could. The volcano trying to erupt in his chest would have to wait as he only had moments more to finish the node he was working on before he was caught. He was cutting it too damn close. Sweat beaded on his brow, threatening to drip down and blur his unblinking vision, as his fingers flew across the keyboard. 

Seconds before his mental stopwatch counted to zero, he was done and out of the system. His whole body was screaming at him for rest and food, bombarding him with notifications in the form of sharp pains, dull aches, and other highly uncomfortable things. 

Looking at the clock, he saw that he had about four minutes before he needed to start on the next node. Perfect! Just enough time to do absolutely nothing! Saeyoung took off his glasses and rubbed at his aching eyes. He let them drift closed a moment longer, but the darkness somehow only made him feel like he was rocking on a ship through rough waters, which did his stomach no favors. 

He glanced suspiciously towards his growling belly and blindly reached for the bag of chips he’d been slowly working his way through. The bag slipped from his fingers, empty, and fluttered to the floor. 

Two minutes. Not enough time to get up and get more chips, much less real food. He needed something, anything to get the sour taste out of his mouth, and he reached for another can of soda. Sure, his stomach wouldn’t appreciate it, but it didn’t matter. The room temperature Dr. Pepper felt like marbles going down his throat, hard and uncomfortable, the bubbles fighting against each other within him. 

He was still fighting for air and trying to belch when it was time to move on with the project. While Saeyoung was used to tuning out what his body was trying to tell him or to not having the energy to listen, he felt like it was starting to finally take a toll on him. This project left him with a sour feeling in his heart anyway. He didn’t know who it was impacting, but he knew it was something big involving a civil war and an election in another country. No one legitimately won in a war, except for the politicians. There would be casualties no matter how this ended. 

Garbage food heavy in his stomach, body feeling like a slug, he kept trying to dissociate from those sensations but was having no luck. He had to get this right though; the stakes were too high. Distraction would lead to failure; failure would lead to his death. When it was done, he could sleep, though he probably didn’t even deserve that peace. 

64%

He remembered that night well. Sleep had come in fits and bursts, and when he finally settled into it, he dreamt. 

A massive red-maned beast pursued him through hallway after hallway, it’s claws screeching against the concrete floor like nails on a chalkboard. Something about that grating sound also brought to mind a voice, shrill and full of hatred. 

He turned a corner to try to outpace it, only to find it was a dead end.

“Idiot child!”

The words hit him like a gut punch, and he staggered before turning back to the hall to find another escape route. The beast was right behind him, it’s hot breath on the back of his neck, making him shiver despite the heat. It felt to Saeyoung as though the chase went on for hours, the beast getting ever closer, millimeter by millimeter, berating him for daring to try to gain any ground. 

As he rounded a corner, one of his feet twisted, the side of it connecting with the ground awkwardly, sending him toppling over in a tangled heap. He found himself sprawled on his back before the monster. Sickly yellow eyes burned, illuminating motes of dust in the air. It’s lashing flamelike hair reached out towards him, caressing his arm like a snake’s tongue testing its prey, before the jaws uttered “worthless” and clamped down on his throat. He heard the heavy bone of those massive jaws meet along with the tearing of his flesh and sinew, grotesque wet noises echoing in his ears. 

Gasping for breath, he awoke, drenched in sweat, a black and white checkered blanket twisted around him uncomfortably, pinning one of his arms at his side. He thrashed helplessly for a moment, still trying to escape those gnashing teeth until he realized he was awake. 

Saeyoung laughed mirthlessly at his pathetic state. Who needs sleep anyway? Not Agent 707 Extreme! 

Untangling himself from the sheet, he stared up into the darkness of his room, never feeling more alone in his life. 

78%

He had always enjoyed a nice view of the ocean. The endless expanses of sky and water meeting made him feel peaceful and free like he could go anywhere he wanted, finding new adventures and horizons. 

However, that freedom wasn’t for him. Maybe some people would see leaving their old life and all the connections they had made behind a kind of freedom. That day marked the second time in the last four years that he had done this, but it wasn’t any easier. 

Saeyoung boarded the ship, following behind his partner, Vanderwood. He felt very much like a child reluctantly following a parent to some event they’d been dreading. So small and helpless, floating along at the whims of the tide and those much more powerful than he. 

Farewell to the sweet lady down the street who would give him a discount on the fluffy bread she baked every day. Farewell to the neighbors’ dogs who wanted to play with him when he walked by their house, cold noses and warm fur nuzzling into his hands. Farewell to the girl whose name he never even knew. She would lean out of her third-floor window to watch the people live their lives below, her face a mask of wistful sadness. 

Farewell to all who had seen him and thought they knew him, but the Luciel they knew was just a shadow. 

A gentle elbow to his ribs shook him from his reverie. “Hey, Luciel. I know that look.” Vanderwood frowned down at him, his brow creased in worry. “If you’re wondering, no. It doesn’t get easier. But this is our life, and at least we have that.” 

Yeah. At least he was alive, whatever that meant in the grand scheme of things. But this was the life of sacrifice that he had chosen when he was 15, on the promise that Saeran, his other half, would live a happy life because of it. For that, and the hope that they would one day be reunited without the fear of their father finding them... For that, he would endure. 

Saeyoung nodded at Vanderwood’s words, as he watched the sun descend towards the horizon. “Look. I know… I know this is shit. I’m not going to lie to you. At least I was old enough to know what I was getting into when I took this job. You? You were just a damn kid. If it helps, I’ll make sure you can still keep your connection to your friends, so long as you swear on your life that the app is secure. There still might be a day where you’ll have to leave them too, but today ain’t it, alright, Zero Seven?”

A thread of hope wound its way through him, reconnecting some of the parts that felt like they were going to fall away. Even if he had to leave them someday, he still had a tiny virtual place to call home. Those people would never be able to know the truth of his life, but at least playing at 707 brought a little bit of light into his world. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Vanderwood. I know you are taking a big risk in letting me stay connected to the RFA, and I swear I won’t let you down!”

“Yeah, yeah. Any chance I could get you to stop referring to me as a lady?”

“Not even the slightest chance, madame.”

“That’s what I thought. Alright, kid. Get your soul searching and your staring out into the sea done before dinner at least, okay?” The older man gripped Saeyoung’s shoulder for a moment before heading below decks. 

The sun was starting to turn the ocean to brilliant, molten gold and Saeyoung felt warmth growing within him as well. He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled to the app that he had spent months building. V had given him a general idea of what they needed, and he had run with it, coming up with new features to make it even better and more secure. 

Whatever else happened, he had a party to help plan. 

92%

Well, that had been a strange conversation. Saeyoung looked up from the RFA chatroom to the array of monitors before him. Every screen and window contained a different search for the background of this mystery woman who had shown up in the RFA chat three days ago. The fact that he hadn’t learned anything substantial yet pissed him off. How dare the internet not give up its secrets for him?! 

All he had been able to get so far was a picture of her, stolen from the gallery on her phone. He assumed it was her anyway because it looked like a selfie and something about that face just fit with her sense of humor. That sense of humor that played along with his just so, like a duet of strangeness, like the 1 to his 0. The picture had made its home on one of his monitors, along with a few cat photos he’d found in her gallery as well. Did she have a cat or just like cats? He should have asked her. Maybe next time. 

With a sigh, he kicked his chair away from the desk and let it spin for a while, occasionally nudging the floor to keep up his momentum. He was already feeling strangely dizzy after their conversation in the chat room, so spinning simply seemed natural. 

Who was she? A little voice in his head kept trying to argue that they were somehow meant to meet. That she was an angel sent to save him. She came out of nowhere and paid attention to him, played along with him, and seemed to worry when he wasn’t there or if he slipped and admitted that he wasn’t taking care of himself. 

No, he told that voice. She’s kind to everyone in chat. She encourages Zen to follow his dreams, and Yoosung to sleep more than three hours a day, and Jaehee to take time to care for herself. Her enthusiasm for Jumin’s cat projects was only rivaled by his own. Her light shone on everyone in the chatroom, bringing hope and comfort where there was little before. 

Just last week he had been considering, as he had many times, leaving the RFA behind for their safety. There had been more attacks on the servers than ever before, and that problem had only gotten worse in the last few days. If it were his father’s men, or someone determined to take out the agency’s best hacker, it would be best for the RFA to never hear from him again. 

But… he loved a good mystery, and he had three lined up in front of him just begging to be solved. There was this Unknown bastard who was playing with his app and who had delivered this mystery lady to him. She was puzzle number two, of course. Was she just a naive woman who had stumbled into their world or did she have her own agenda? His chest ached when he thought of her being a spy or a mole, but he had to consider it. Lastly, how were they connected? Had Unknown picked her out for a reason? 

Okay, there was a fourth mystery too, and he felt completely out of his league when he even tried to approach it. What was that tingly feeling in his stomach when he heard her voice and what drove him to want to hear it again as soon as she bid him goodbye? Why did he feel like he was sitting under the sun when she focused her attention on him? 

Years of training and fieldwork had left him sure that he could handle anything he faced, but this… it left him feeling afraid and elated all at once. He didn’t deserve to feel this happy, but… maybe he could get away with it for just a little while. Surely there’s no harm in playing around a little in the chatroom as 707 or letting someone care that Luciel exists for once in his damn life. 

Yeah, as long as she never saw Saeyoung, maybe it would be okay for a few more days. 

Before he realized what his hands were doing, he had already dialed her number. 

100%

A cheery little “ding!” from his laptop stirred him from his half-slumber. He yawned and stretched, trying to coax his blood to flow back into his freezing fingers and stiff joints. Was it already done? Wait, of course it was. He was God Seven and … when he looked at the time, he realized he’d been in the server room for well over an hour. Okay well, either way, it was done! 

Saeyoung snapped his laptop shut and disconnected it from the freshly wiped servers, before standing up with a groan as his legs protested from having been pinned under his weight for so long. Had MC been in the room, she would have lovingly teased him about becoming an old man already, and he grinned at the thought. He’d have to get her back for that one later, even if she hadn’t actually made the comment. Any excuse to tease her was good enough for him. 

But first, he had a bomb to dismantle. Thankfully the work went quickly. Removing just a few small pieces here and there was enough to render the system inert. Shutting down the power to the room did the rest of the work for him, and the servers and the cooling system were quiet for the first time since he’d set the place up a few years ago.

Saeyoung paused for a moment before leaving the now quiet server room. He offered thanks to the stars that had watched over him tonight, keeping his task hidden, allowing him to finally shake off the last of the shackles of his life with the agency. Those years had been miserable, but even the worst of it- the pain, the nightmares, the goodbyes- all of it had led him here, to share this home with the woman who loved him, and his once-lost brother.


	6. Cats

“Babe, how am I only supposed to pick out one of them??” 

You couldn’t help but smile at your husband’s response to seeing all of the sweet kitties at the shelter. His heart couldn’t handle the idea of any of them remaining here unloved once he learned about the place. You were sure that he was already planning to make a sizable donation before you went home. 

The two of you had been talking recently about your future. It just seemed natural that eventually you would have at least one child together. Your conversations never involved “if”s, but rather “when”s. Saeyoung would get so excited any time he thought about being a father, or the toys he would craft for a child and the adventures you would all go on together. Your heart melted when you imagined it as well. 

Though, you also knew that you were both still working on overcoming depression and weren’t sure how that would affect your ability to care for a baby. So, you had suggested getting a pet together first. You knew he’d always wanted a cat of his own anyway. Despite Jumin’s claim that Saeyoung was a cat abuser, you knew that he was really a gentle soul and would never hurt an animal intentionally. More likely it had been the result of years of abuse and honestly not knowing how to treat a cat. 

Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, you calmly told him, “Just let it choose you, sweetie. Be calm and see if any of them approach you or seem to call out to you.” 

He peered into one of the enclosures and you could tell that he was barely containing a myriad of emotions, bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands held close to his chest, looking concerned. “But...what if the right one is napping and doesn't see me?” A grey tabby lounged with its back against the wall of the pen, presumably the source of his worry. 

“If you see one you really want to meet, I'm sure they can bring it out for you. It will be fine, I promise.” Your words and soothing touch seemed to call him a little.   
The two of you slowly walked down the rows of pens, looking at each cat and reading their information placards. 

Saeyoung were almost to the end if the aisle when he stopped suddenly, gently placing both of his hands on the door to one of the pens. You were eager to see the cat that had caught your husband's attention and sidled up next to him to try and get a look at it. 

What looked like a miniature tiger was nuzzling against his hand through the plexiglass. Saeyoung looked positively entranced as he watched the small creature. You read the placard next to the pen: “Philomena. Bengal mix. 3 years old. Missing one eye. Possible hearing loss.” 

With a hand over your heart and a lump in your throat, you marveled as Saeyoung found a kindred spirit in the cat before him. Barely holding back a wave of emotions, you whispered, “do you want to meet her?” Saeyoung nodded in response and you walked back down the hall to find an employee to help you. You took a few deep breaths to steady yourself, not wanting to cry in public, still surprised at the swell of love and empathy that was threatening to knock you over. 

Once you had told a volunteer that you were interested in Philomena, her response surprised you. “Philomena? I’m so happy that someone wants to see her. She’s always so grumpy and hisses at anyone who gets near her cage, but I know she’s a sweetheart deep down. I was afraid that she would never find a home. I’ll understand if you don’t get along with her though, but thank you for trying.” Hissing? Grumpy? That was the exact opposite of what you had seen when she was interacting with Saeyoung. Maybe your kindred spirit thought wasn’t far off. 

The volunteer led you both to a small room with cushions on the floor and a myriad of cat toys spread throughout the room. You both sat down and waited for her to bring in Philomena. The last thing you wanted was for Saeyoung to end up disappointed, so you gently shared what the volunteer had told you. “Grumpy? Well, everyone has a right to be grumpy now and then. Even a beautiful cat! She was so sweet though, babe. I’m not worried.” You placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder anyway, when the volunteer opened the door. 

Philomena was struggling in her arms, raking her claws through the air, looking very much like the angry cat you were warned about. Your grip on Saeyoung’s shoulder tightened, but he just patted your hand with his and smiled at you reassuringly. You weren’t sure why he was so confident but you trusted his judgement. 

With a bit of effort, the volunteer managed to set Philomena down without getting scratched. The tiny tigress hunkered down in a lightly defensive posture and gazed around the room. All of you remained silent, waiting to see what would happen. 

After a few breathless moments, she raised herself back up and looked towards Saeyoung, seeming to consider him, before slowly walking towards him. His smile was completely contagious as Philomena placed a paw on his leg and stretched up to investigate him up close. Not wanting to startle her, he remained still, but very softly he said, “hello, Philomena. Nice to meet you, pretty kitty.” Despite her placard saying that she has hearing loss, she must have heard him, or at least enjoyed the sensation of him speaking. She lifted herself up even further and headbutted Saeyoung’s chin. 

In moments, she was nuzzling his hand over and over as he tried to pet her and scratch her chin. He’d studied a lot about cat behavior recently, as well as how to interact with and care for one, and the results paid off immediately. He couldn’t stop smiling, and was cooing at her in and endless stream of baby talk, telling her how cutesy wootsy she was and how lovely her precious paws were. 

You quietly pulled out your phone and snapped some pictures and a short video to help you both remember the day. Seeing him so happy threatened to bring back the tears you had held back earlier. It was beautiful. 

Once the paperwork was signed, the two of you headed home with your new family member. Saeyoung tended to call her Phi, and you usually called her Mina, but she loved you both. Though, more often than not, you would find her curled up in your husband’s lap while he was working.


End file.
